The 39 Week Challenge
by Reishii-Chan
Summary: The goal; train Kakashi to be a parental figure in time for the expecting Sakura. Can he survive pregnancy as much as Sakura can? 39 weeks can't be that long... right?
1. Sickness

A/N: Now, this is a crack-fic that I have come up with in the wee hours of the morning. I do not have a beta so all spelling mistakes are my own. All information about the stages of pregnancy were found on the internet, so anything that I might have gotten wrong I apologize for in advance despite my research.

Also, this is my first real attempt at a Kakashi/Sakura fanfic, so please be patient with me.

I hope you enjoy this, because I certainly do. Now, on with the fluff and crack!

The 39 Week Challenge.

Week 1—2: Sickness

The goal; can Kakashi come to terms with the fact that the flu is now morning sickness?

* * *

The sound of retching reached Kakashi's ears from inside of the bathroom. Curled up on his side under the warm down blanket, he blindly searched for a pillow to cup over his sensitive ears and smashed it against his head. It muted most of the noise, but with his canine hearing, it was barely muffled. Sighing, he caught a whiff of some putrid odour—Pakkun must have gotten worms again and was vomiting on the floor.

"Pakkun, can you take it outside? Or at least not get it on the carpet," Kakashi begged as the sounds stopped and a feminine voice replied.

"Oh, you want me to take it outside for all of the neighbors to see? All right then, I'll just—" the irritating voice was cut off by a retch, followed by ghastly noises that Kakashi didn't even want to know of.

_Oh, I see, so Pakkun's got a lady friend who's pregnant. I hope they turn out better than the last litter…_

There was a brief moment of pure silence, in which Kakashi easily slipped back into the realms of unconsciousness. Suddenly, more obnoxious vomiting ad dry-heaving. He found his patience was now secured onto a thin tethered rope.

"Pakkun, where are you? Why aren't you helping your bitch out so I can get some sleep?"

"_Excuse me_?"

Kakashi jackknifed from the bed and peered through the tiny crack in the bathroom door. Pink tendrils of hair caught his vision and he dashed out from the bed—albeit buck naked—to the bathroom, catching the door handle and all but ripping it out when he saw his pink haired lover _hugging_ the toilet bowl. Her face was sickly pale, her hair a mess in a hastily done up bun, with nothing but his faded black Anbu shirt adorning her shivering body.

"Sakura—are you all right?" He leaned down and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. She halfheartedly shrugged it off, and he noticed that her bones were protruding from her skin almost unhealthily. "Have you been eating at all?"

"No…" she whimpered, curling up on herself and placing her head on the cool toilet seat. "Too nauseous… to eat anything…"

"Well, hell, why didn't you tell me this before?"

Sakura didn't answer him as whatever was left in her stomach was promptly pushed out. "I, uh, donno. I thought it was the flu last week, but it hasn't gone yet—"

"_Last week!_ This has been going on from last week?" He felt like an idiot; he should have known this, but he had to remember that for the better portion of last week he'd been away in the Grass Country on a recon mission, so Sakura's sickness hadn't been noted. "Okay, I'm bringing you to the hospital."

"For someone who doesn't like hospitals, you're pretty eager to take me to one." She griped, though her heart wasn't into it.

Kakashi ignored her and gathered up some suitable clothes for her, hastily slipping on the green sweatpants she'd walked over in last night and chucking her bra into the bathroom. Last night she didn't look as abhorred as she did this morning, and not nearly as sick. She admitted to feeling a bit under the weather, but the Copy nin thought nothing of it as viruses tended to spread astronomically fast when you're working in a building constantly infested with sick people.

And he remembered something about her telling an excuse when he asked her to join him and Naruto for training, and at the time he just thought she was blowing him off. But if this turned out to be serious…

"C'mon, we're leaving _now_._,_"

He made sure to bring along a plastic bag—although what good that would do if she needed to use it?—and all but ran as fast as he could to the hospital without jarring her sensitive stomach too much. He thanked whatever gods were out there for Sakura's impeccable control.

Entering the building, he was vaguely familiar with the layout, and knew that the ER would be two lefts down that long hallway. As he advanced toward it, the thought to be sleeping woman cracked an eye open and clutched at his collar.

"No! We don't need to go to the ER! Go to triage; take me to the waiting room, at least."

"Why, so we can wait several hours and this can get worse? "

"There's just no need," she huffed, her face paling considerably when he refused to take a step in the opposite direction. "Hey, go back!"

"Kakashi-san," greeted a trauma nurse as he rounded the bend, but her face widen in surprise to see who he was bringing in. "Is Sakura-san all right?"

"I don't know. Fix her," he deposited the pink haired kunoichi in the proffered wheelchair and dogged the nurse until she brought them into a quaint room with a simple bed and bathroom. "We might need to operate, she's nauseous and dizzy and—"

"Relax, Kakashi-san. We're just going to take some vitals and give her something cool to drink." The nurse left them in the room after placing Sakura on the neatly made bed, and Kakashi thought it his duty to keep watch by the door until signs of help arrived.

Sakura, looking quite piqued at this point, waved Kakashi over. "It's not likely we'll be infiltrated while I wait a few minutes for the doctor. Come, sit," she patted the chair beside her.

He didn't budge.

Sakura rolled her eyes and fought really hard against the wave of nausea. She had a feeling that if she were to ever get sick Kakashi would shove her in a gurney and allow the experts the take over. Men were just insecure like that, especially when the unknown always hovered about ominously. Had he received the proper training he wouldn't have treated this as an emergency. Besides, Sakura already had a clue as to what was going on, but now wasn't the time to tell him.

Half an hour passed and finally Kakashi stirred, alerting Sakura who had been resting her eyes. Her very own mentor, Tsunade, bustled into the room and looked apathetically at her student. "Kakashi, could you please leave?"

At a loss for words, he scrambled to think of an excuse; honey coloured eyes silenced him, and like a kicked puppy he left the room with his tail between his legs

"Sakura. What brings you to the hospital?"

"Kakashi," she muttered, and Tsunade gave a faint smile.

"So what's going on with you, anyway? You were vomiting? Any dizzy spells, hypertension, or dehydration?'

"I've been feeling faint and nauseous, yes, and have been vomiting since early this morning and most of last week, though it was particularly worse today. It's mostly gone now, though."

Tsunade, never being one for traditional means, didn't bothered to carry around a clipboard with information on it. The woman had a knack for just remembering things like this. "How long has this been going on?"

"Oh, about ten days now, or so…"

"Ten?" The Hokage raised a delicate brow. "And who have you told?" Implying that she hadn't told the most important person, that is.

"No one, accept Kakashi, anyway."

Tsunade pursed her lips in thought and didn't say anything for a long time. Deftly, she stood and brought out a stethoscope and a cuff, fastening it around Sakura's slim arm and taking her blood pressure whilst getting her temperature and blood sugars. Satisfied, she moved on and extracted a needle and took her blood in two tiny vials.

"I need a blood sample. The results shouldn't take long. In the meantime, you can have your hound back,"

Tsunade left the room and replacing her came Kakashi, who looked fretful and genuinely concerned.

"Is everything all right?" he questioned, holding her hand in his.

"Well, she's just getting a blood test done. It might be a virus or something, a new strain, anyway."

Something flashed behind his coal eyes; something that had Sakura on edge, as if he were in on the little secret.

"Is that all it is? A new strain of virus?"

"Uh, maybe," she evaded, hoping her shishou would return so she wouldn't have to deliver the news for him.

They sat silent for another hour before Tsunade returned with the results, a single piece of paper in her hands. Her eyes were reproachful, and though Kakashi mistook it for concern, Sakura knew exactly what it was.

"Well, I have your results," the woman clucked her tongue as she surveyed the sheet for the nth time. "And, it seems that you're going to be a wonderful mother. Congratulations, Sakura,"

Time slowed considerably for Kakashi, and in a futile effort Sakura tried petting his hand. "Kakashi? You there? Did you hear what she said?"

His lone eye strayed to hers, disbelief etched onto his otherwise stoic face. Sakura giggled, though it was not serious, as she whispered, "Surprise."


	2. Headaches and Cravings

The 39 Week Challenge.

Week 3—5: Headaches and Cravings

The goal; does Kakashi have it in him to get Sakura anything she desires, even if he has to go to risky lengths? And can he _please_ keep the noise down?

xXx

"Ugh, can you please keep it down?" moaned Sakura with earnest in her voice; because it had been the fifth time she had asked Kakashi to keep his shenanigans quiescent. When silence ensued and she breathed a sigh of relief, that subtle, taunting noise reached her ears once more. "Kakashi, please!"

"Sakura, you're being unreasonable," said the Copy nin with a book in his hand, flipping the page over, only to have Sakura whine yet again at the 'noise.' "I'm just flipping pages. It's not like I'm ripping a chainsaw to life,"

"I know, but it sounds like it!"

Kakashi sighed, defeated, and folded Icha Icha Paradise and placed it on the coffee table. "There, better?"

"Oh, much! I can finally hear my own thoughts again."

"Now you're just being theatrical,"

Ever since Sakura was deemed pregnant merely two weeks ago, the sickness had been plaguing her still every morning and early evening. Though the ferocity had died down since, other things he'd noted were also started to bloom.

For one, her constant migraines were dreadful and he always knew about it. It couldn't even be snowing lightly outside and she'd groan in frustration to the 'racket' outside. Not to mention, his favourite and only pastime, reading, seemed to be off-limits too since the page-turning was deafening her poor ears. Attempting to relocate his reading resulted in a pout and a neediness of his presence in mere minutes.

He struggled to remain supportive and helped her when she was getting sick and put away his printed lover when she desperately needed some peace. He thought he was getting better every day, but something else had wheedled to the now laundry list of symptoms that Sakura was garnering.

Cravings.

It started maybe mid-last week, when she and Kakashi were both taking a leisurely stroll out in the cool Konoha market, and one of the vendors who had been smitten with Sakura a while back after saving him from the Influenza, offered her free salmon from his stall to compensate for her kindness.

At first she had politely refused the gift, but then he saw the wheels turning in her head, and how her nose subtly turned upright at the intoxicating smell of the freshly fried fish. Like a possessed woman, she bundled as many salmon into her arms—as well as Kakashi's—and hauled at least thirty back to her tiny apartment.

Kakashi thought it was reasonable, since winter _was_ coming and gathering as much fish as she could before it became too cold to import was wise. But it hadn't been that at all; she took immediately to the kitchen and put the burner up as far as it would go, and started shredding and gutting some of the uncooked fish and placing them in a pan drowning in garlic butter and herbs.

When she was depositing her fifth, Kakashi thought it wise to interfere. "Um, Sakura… don't you think that's a bit much for you to eat all by yourself?" Secretly he hoped that maybe she'd share with him— the aromas inside the tiny apartment were absolutely divine with fresh salmon, chopped chives, tomatoes, and garlic butter.

"Yeah, what of it?" she snapped back, throwing the remainder of the guts in the compost and masterfully frying up the salmon to almost perfection. "I'm hungry, so sue me."

So, thinking nothing of it once more, he took residence on her lavender couch and waited patiently for another ten minutes, when she entered with a steaming plate of delectable fish. Casually, she pushed up against him and placed her large plate in front of her, slightly leaning into him. He draped an arm around her and deftly went to pluck a small piece of fish, when a hand smacked him mid-snatch.

"Ah, hey! What was that for?" Kakashi pouted, nursing his wounded hand. She hadn't bothered to reign in some of her chakra with that slap.

"It's my fish," she said simply, forking a rather juicy piece and stuffing it in her mouth. "I bought it."

"But you always share with me…"

"Well, not now. I'm ravenous!"

So he watched in misery as she polished the rest of the food off in merely fifteen minutes, her appetite satiated and her belly a bit round from the consumption.

That had been then. Now, he knew to expect the unexpected, and look underneath the underneath; in even more of a literal sense, now that his partner was pregnant.

"Kakashi,"

Her sickeningly sweet voice sent chills up his spine—he knew what that meant. He pushed himself off the sofa and snatched up his wallet. "What do you want, Sakura?"

"Um, I don't know."

_Then why did you ask for something?_ Kakashi thought, but refused to give away his mild perturbation. "Well?" he prompted.

"I think… I think… I think I want anchovies. Yeah, those! With… lemon pie, and… no, that's it."

Kakashi, for the sport of it, took out a piece of paper and scribbled down her list. "You know, this is getting to be a bit of a pain."

"But you're the guy! It's your job and honour to ensure that the woman baring your child is comfortable and satisfied."

"Seems like I'm not getting paid enough,"

Sakura sent him a scathing look. Kakashi smartly shut his mouth.

"So anchovies and lemon pie, you sure that's it?"

"Yeah," she nestled back into her afghan blanket on the couch and fell into a tiny nap. Taking the chance, Kakashi slipped out of the house and headed towards the supermarket, where he knew he could find those items easily enough. She might prefer home-made lemon pie, but he just wanted to keep her as happy as possible and as fast as possible so when she went back to sleep again he could continue reading.

He made it there five minutes later, locating the pie easily enough, but the anchovies seemed to be elusive. He found the nearest employee and asked him where to find it, and was sadly informed that they had been cleaned out earlier this morning. Sighing, Kakashi thanked the lad and headed to the markets instead.

He went to each and every fresh fish stall and asked for the desired anchovies, but no one had them in stock any longer. A buyer came along and cleaned them out earlier that morning. Saying no more, he left and went to the last place he ever thought to look for _anchovies_—Konoha's underground black market.

He'd only been there once before, and that was when he was a part of Anbu and he was infiltrating their organization upon possession of illegal drugs. Now, as he wandered through the thick mob of gruff looking people with the scent of unhygienic bodies wafting through his nostrils, he wondered if this was really all worth it.

Terror ceased him as he thought of what she would do to him should he not fulfill her needs. Somewhere between punting him as far as she could kick over the Fire border and ramming his skull into and _through_ the apartment building passed through his mind. He shied away from the thought, knowing that the outcome would not be pleasant for him.

And there it was! The stall that illegally imported goods such as dolphin tales and elephant tusks and _hopefully_ one measly can of anchovies. He ran to the vendor and threw down a couple of yen, and although the great Copy ninja knew that this was way too much, it was a small price to pay for one minute of uninterrupted reading time.

"Anchovies," he said, and as the vendor scuttled back warily to the back of his stall, a familiar voice caught his ears.

"Kakashi! My rival! How wonderful to see _you_ of all people here!"

Kakashi sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. "Not now, Gai—I'm on a _very_ important mission."

The Beautiful Green Beast of Konoha strode up beside his friend/rival and peered over his shoulder where Kakashi's hand still rested on the money. "Planning on buying something foreign?" teased the taijutsu trainer.

"Something like that," Kakashi quickly retrieved the can of anchovies and tossed the money in the vendor's general direction, trying to evade Gai but the man was stubborn, dogging his every step.

"I didn't think that anchovies were foreign—why didn't you go to the supermarket for them?"

"Someone bought them out," he ground out.

"The street markets?"

"Sold out,"

Gai pursed his lips in thought. "Such a strange coincidence that the one object of your desire happens to be gone at such a crucial time, especially when it's riding on a secret mission."

When Kakashi was about to vanish from sight, suddenly his precious anchovies were no longer there; they were in the hands of Maito Gai.

"Gai, what d'you think you're—"

"I heard of this top-secret mission, Kakashi, and I challenge you to a duel! Let's see who gets to fulfill this almighty task and take home the prize money!"

Kakashi's eye twitched. "_You_ bought all the anchovies?" He took his radial blood pressure and deemed that he wasn't about to pass out.

"Of course! I overheard The Beautiful Youthful and Sweet Sakura-chan giving you specific orders to get this item, and I must know what fortunes await when she receives it!"

Kakashi smartly avoided a Flying Lotus kick to the head and tried to snatch the canister away, but the green spandex-clad ninja was not having it today.

_When_ had he had a chance to overhear their conversation, anyways? Kakashi focused more on the now, trying to swipe the canister back. "Gai, I'm serious, if I don't get that back to her I'm _dead_."

"Oh, so there _is_ a top-secret mission! Well, according to the shinobi law I must defeat you in order to inherit this!"

Kakashi avoided yet another kick to the face and tried in vain to take down his adversary without seriously harming him. It wasn't Gai's fault that he sort of had a hero complex, or that he just was clueless about Sakura's pregnancy as most of Konoha was. He couldn't exactly tell him about it now; it would jeopardize the whole mission.

Kakashi was punted to the wooden fence. He wiped off the trail of blood from his nose and lifted his hitai-ate from his forehead. The Sharingan spun wildly.

"Oh, it's on, bitch."

_Two hours later._

"Sakura?"

A soft voice roused her from sleep. The first thing she noticed that it was pitch black outside; the second thing she noticed was how frazzled and beaten Kakashi appeared before her.

"Kakashi! What happened to you?"

Warily, he slumped on the cushion next to her and wordlessly removed the small canister of anchovies. "The pie's in the fridge," he sighed.

Sakura hugged Kakashi to her and gently began removing the blood splatters on his face and his jonin jacket, wincing when she noticed a sizeable bruise on his left shoulder blade and many across his abdomen. "I think you may have broken your collarbone. Gods, Kakashi, it looks like you just fought off an army!"

"Something like that," he seethed when she extracted the under-shirt from him. "I got your anchovies, at least. I had to go through a lot to get them; can you believe that they were sold out everywhere?"

Sakura nibbled on her bottom lip, a gesture she did when she was nervous. "What's wrong?" he queried, bringing her close and ignoring the sharp pain through his shoulder.

"Oh, it's nothing. But…" she looked sheepishly the other way.

"But what?"

"Um, I don't know how to tell you this, uh…"

"You're not expecting _again_ are you?"

Sakura gaped. "No! I just… don't want the anchovies anymore. You see… you've been gone a long time, and, well, the craving for them isn't there any longer. Good thing, right? Now I won't get prematurely fat from all the food I've been eating lately. Kakashi, you okay? You kind of look pale. Hey, look at me! Kakashi—"

Silently, the great Copy ninja of Konoha fled the living room and closed the door behind him to the master bedroom. Some five minutes later, Sakura swore she heard crying.

xXx

A/N: Poor Kakashi. Please review out of concern for his misery and maybe he'll feel better :)


	3. Fatigue, Baby's heartbeat, and Urination

The 39 Week Challenge.

Week 6—8: Fatigue, Baby's Heartbeat, and Urination.

The goal; is Kakashi prepared to deal with Sakura's constant tiredness? What about actually hearing and seeing the baby for the first time? And will Sakura_ ever_ get out of the bathroom long enough for him to pee?

xXx

"You're going to take me to the hospital in an hour, right?" questioned Sakura, who was lounging on the futon in the living room while flipping through channels. Surrounding her head was a fortress of pillows worthy of any pillow fight, but Kakashi dared not to try and smack her—no matter how badly he wanted to sometimes.

"What do _I_ need to go to the hospital for?"

"It's the baby's first heartbeat! You know how that is very bonding for the parents, right? And it'll really solidify our relationship."

"By hearing a heartbeat?"

"It means it's alive, Kakashi," admonished Sakura, stuffing ketchup chips in her mouth. "It signifies that we've made a new human being together. Isn't that amazing to you?"

"Um, right now not really," he'd never been much of a family person, for his lack thereof. He'd known his father for a little while, but had never seen his mother alive. He was a solitary person, up until he started getting the hots for a certain medic ninja. She was the only one allowed in his personal space and his life; what would bringing a baby into a situation be like?

"Oh, you'll come around," she said confidently, attempted to stand but something stopped her. "Oh, I've got to pee."

"Again?"

She shot him a dirty look. "Try having a baby sit on your bladder for nine months and tell me when you _don't_ have to pee," she scurried to the bathroom, and Kakashi sighed.

He couldn't deny the changes that were taking place in Sakura, the physical and the mental ones. Not only was she higher strung than normal, and she was constantly complaining about something, but those cravings, headaches, and now urination, were taking a toll on her. She was becoming piqued far too easily as well; even simple chores taxed her and she'd feel the need to nap.

But not all the changes were bad—there was the little, or perhaps bigger, fact that her breasts were fuller than they'd been just three weeks ago, and a soft glow always radiated from her face. She wasn't chunky or slim, but set just right in the middle that made her look softer, more feminine. She'd always been a bit too skinny and compact, but now she really looked like a desirable 20 year-old woman that she was.

And although 20 was such a young age, in shinobi years it was an amazing feat to still be alive after seven years of being on the job so young. Hell, him reaching 36 was impressive by most standards. So when news was finally broad-cast that their adoring pink haired medic was expecting, it was a celebration rather than a crisis. Naruto was welcome to introduce any baby in the world that belonged to Sakura. Tsunade eventually came around and actually congratulated the two.

So when he thought about it, maybe he would come around like them.

"Sakura!" he called, noting that she'd been in there far longer than necessary. "We've got to go."

"Yeah, in a minute," translation; in _ten_ minutes, even though it was her fifth time going to the bathroom this morning. So Kakashi reclined on the chair and shut his eyes, imagining a tiny pink haired girl bouncing around the apartment; or better, a little silver haired genius boy who was his father's pride and joy and would be the best in his Academy and go on to surpass his father.

Just as the thought begun to settle well with him, Sakura emerged from the bathroom, looking groggy and sick.

"No biggie, just more sickness."

"More? I thought that stopped already,"

"No, sometimes they cling to the later stages of the first trimester."

Pretending he knew what that meant, Kakashi took Sakura's hand in his own and they both walked proudly down the crowded streets of their village, receiving a few praises and some generous little trinkets. By the time they reached the hospital Kakashi's arms were full with nonsensical objects given by the generous merchants and customers. Sakura barely hid a smile as he comically deposited the belongings in a wheelchair and walked around with it.

Shizune, who was pleased to accept Sakura's offer to deliver their first ultrasound, guided them in the room with a cursory glance at the wheelchair/shopping cart.

"Okay, let's see if we can find the little guy,"

"Girl," Sakura corrected as Shizune hefted up Sakura's shirt to reveal a mostly flat stomach.

"It might be, but I have a feeling it's a boy." She tediously applied the cold topical liquid onto Sakura's stomach and ran the machine, searching slowly and carefully for the tiny embryo. "Ah, there you are," the place where she stopped was at Sakura's left hip and from there a tiny little jelly bean shaped circle appeared before the parents. "That's his head—it's considerably bigger. Those four little ball shaped things sticking out are what will be the legs and arms. Its internal organs are starting to develop now and the blood vessels are working and are receiving blood from its growing heart. The darker areas up by the head are what will be the nose and eyes."

Sakura was in awe at the sight of the tiny baby on the screen. Technically, it was still an embryo, but it seemed too impersonal. Kakashi gazed speechlessly at the baby, too, surprised at how much was already happening to the baby in such a short span of time.

Suddenly, a low dull, rapid sound emitted from the Doppler machine. Sakura smiled widely at the sound of the baby's heartbeat, proud of how strong and loud it was. "His heart sounds healthy," she commented.

Kakashi stroked her head lovingly as he, too, listened to the powerful beat of his child's heart. It would be strong and brave, with Sakura for a mother. He now knew what Sakura had been making a fuss about—hearing this really was something for them to bond over and take comfort in the fact that their child was healthy and living and would be with them soon enough.

The pink haired kunoichi placed a hand on the part of her skin not covered in the gooey liquid, shocked and excited to feel a tiny sliver of chakra emitting from where the baby nestled in her womb. The threads of energy undulated and swirled in tandem with her own, as she, in her own way, interacted with her child.

Kakashi, always observing, questioned her on what she was doing. Wordlessly, she applied his hand to where hers had been, coaxing him into allowing a small influx of chakra to enter her womb. The embryo on the screen twitched slightly, Kakashi noticed as he, too, felt the energy colliding and merging with his own, recognizing that this child was, indeed, his own.

When they returned home Sakura made a beeline for the bathroom, and Kakashi patiently waited outside of the door and told his bladder to stay strong and hold on.

"Uh, Kakashi?" squeaked a tiny voice from behind the door.

"Yes?"

"Could you not stand in front of the bathroom—I can't pee with an audience."

So, exasperatedly, he moved several feet away from the bathroom and semi-patiently waited for the bathroom to be vacant so that he, too, could relieve himself. Five minutes later, when he was sure he heard the toilet flush, he heard more retching and vomiting. He tapped his knee rhythmically with his hand as she made no sign of leaving any time soon.

Several minutes past, and his body was not withstanding the torture. Hurrying so Sakura wouldn't see, he snuck out onto the small deck suspended three feet in the air on the apartment, glanced around for any by-passers and promptly relieved himself all over the neighbour's garden.

Sakura chose that time to vacate the bathroom and scream in frustration. "What are you _doing_? Nama-chan is _not_ going to like your method of fertilizing her garden!"

"Would she rather I fertilize them in a more effective manner?" he jeered as he finished up, sighing in bliss and zipping up his fly. "Because I don't think she'd like that, either. Though her cabbage might grow bigger this year with it,"

"You're impossible."

"No, just desperate."

Sakura sat on the couch and patted the cushion beside her, and Kakashi moved to sit beside her and nestle into her. "I'm glad you're so supportive, Kakashi. You'll make a great father." She said, already forgiving.

"Mhmm," he murmured into her hair, kissing the tender part of her neck.

"But seriously, you've got to unwind; all this stress you're putting on me isn't good for the baby, and it isn't good on you, either."

Kakashi bit his tongue, really, really hard, and pretended to accept his 'difficult' mood swings. "Sure, honey, whatever you say."


	4. Tender Breasts, Mood Swings, Weight Gain

The 39 Week Challenge.

Week 9—12: Tender Breasts, Mood swings, and Weight Gain.

The goal; get Sakura to have sex for the first time in twelve weeks. What does it take just to get some? Apparently, Kakashi has his work cut out for him. Though Sakura's luscious jugs are very tempting, he can't really express how much bigger they've gotten without admitting to Sakura that she was getting plumper.

xXx

"Do you think I'm fat?"

The question that has been haunting all men who live was presented to Kakashi one sunny Monday afternoon. And it had been such a regular, fine afternoon too.

Sakura had been nibbling her bottom lip to mere shreds and glancing in the mirror constantly since nine that morning, her hands furtively rubbing the delicate protruding flesh on her tummy while comparing pant sizes from twelve weeks ago to the ones she had now. He knew this day would come, but to happen at a moment like this, Kakashi thought that this opportunity was golden.

"Well, you _are_ having a child, Sakura. It's not unusual for you to start showing a bit at this stage."

The room suddenly became chilly. Kakashi avoided glancing in Sakura's general direction.

"So now I'm getting fat, right?" she challenged, stomping out of the bedroom with two jeans in her hands. "Look, these are what I wore twelve weeks ago. Size five. And now look! These are a size seven! I've gained two sizes, Kakashi!"

Trying to stymie his physical reaction toward how stupid that math sounded, he tried explaining to her as calmly as possible. "Shizune mentioned to you that this would happen around this time, Sakura. She said you'd begin to gain a bit more weight because of poor eating habits, lack of exercise, and—"

"Oh so now I'm lazy _and _you're calling me a pig, too? God, how can you _live_ with yourself?"

"Hey, hey, now," Kakashi caught her hand and pulled her to him before it could connect with his face, creating an iron trap for her which she struggled to get out of. "It's not that bad, really. You still look very beautiful."

She gave up trying to wrestle away and peered up through hooded eyes. "Really?"

"Yes! In fact, I think you look even more beautiful. And just _look_ at the size of these! If there's one good thing about pregnancy, it's _those_." He pointed to Sakura's larger breasts and licked his dry lips. Damn, he really had been deprived _far_ too long.

Sakura made a face. "Ew, you pervert. They're not to be played around with."

"Well, what else do you do with them?"

"Breast feed,"

"That's still months away."

"But they're so tender and they're sensitive to touch. I can hardly wear my bra anymore; it's so uncomfortable."

_And that's the best part of all,_ thought Kakashi secretively.

"Perfect." He exalted instead. "C'mon, lemme see them!" He gave her romp a playful squeeze and she squealed and took off.

Kakashi prowled after her as she slipped away and headed to the safety of the bedroom, slamming the door behind her and locking the latch. He rapped on the door playfully. "You know I can just jimmy the lock, Sakura. Give it up."

"No!" she cried insolently, although an underscore of playfulness crept into it.

"All right, I'll just have to take you by force."

He counted down to three and opened the door to find her huddled in the corner with a lone sandal to protect her, intending to use it as a projectile.

"Get away from me, or I'll hurt you," she threatened, clutching the sandal tighter to her bosom.

"I'm sure that's just a new prototype weapon TenTen is working on, ne?"

She gave him the one finger salute.

"Well, in that case I might have to play a bit more seriously." His hand lifted the mass of silvery hair in front of his Sharingan, playfully advancing. "You'll never get away!"

Out of the blue Sakura burst into racking sobs. The action stunned Kakashi so much he stood there frozen, unable to process what he'd done wrong to make her cry. He gathered her in his arms and stroked her hair, repeatedly asking what he did and what he could do to make it all better.

"You—hic—can stop—hic—yelling at me—hic!" she pushed resiliently against his hard chest.

Baffled, Kakashi only rocked her more. "I wasn't yelling at you."

"Y-yes you were, and you were being mean to me!"

Perplexed, he continued doing the only thing he knew, which was to stroke her hair and hold her tight, hoping she'd come out of her mood soon.

After about ten minutes of consoling, Sakura was no longer crying and was lying contently in his arms. He thanked whoever was looking out for him that her mood had finally passed, and maybe he could finally get some action that he craved.

"I'm all right now," she said tonelessly, slipping out of his arms to resume her position in front of the mirror. "I'm too fat to be desirable," she moaned to the mirror, clutching her tummy. Kakashi decided that the next time she was out he'd kill it.

"And look at this bra! I'm up three cup sizes. I never thought I'd reach a C cup before this,"

It was all Kakashi could do to not pounce upon her as she compared bra cups, one considerably tinier for a perkier breast and the other fit for a more rounded and plump one. He hoped dearly that she'd come around, or at least quit teasing him with brief glimpses of her abdomen and her breasts.

"I mean, it's astronomical! Pregnancy works wonders for breast enlargement. I go from A 32 to a C 34 in twelve weeks! They should make pills of this wonderful hormone to insecure women."

Sakura was aware of arms wrapping around her shoulders and being spun around, before a mouth crushed to hers in heated passion. She gave in to it, wrapping her arms around his neck, drawing him in closer.

Kakashi had to admit; the new cushions were tantalizingly good at seducing him when they were rubbing against his flat chest.

"How about you and me give these girls a test drive?" he licked the delicate flesh of her ear and she shuddered beneath him. He guided her to the bed and discarded the two bras from her hands, for which she was eager to be rid of, too.

Their caged up sexual frustration was finally breaking free, and suddenly neither of them could keep their hands off of each other. Kakashi's hands roamed all throughout Sakura's soft flesh, pausing at her hardened peaks to tease them until she was writhing uncontrollably beneath him, squishing her breasts even further into his chest, which had somehow become bereft of a shirt during their interlude.

Sakura broke away from their kissing, looking unsure. "Are you sure you want to do it with a fat person?"

He almost guffawed aloud. "You're not fat, Sakura," he leaned down to kiss her, whispering to himself. "At least, not yet."

He received a swift punch in the groin.

Well, there went his perfect afternoon.


	5. Constipation, Energy, and Scares

The 40 Week Challenge.

Week 13—16: Constipation, Energy, and Scares.

The goal; to remain cool when trouble finds you. Although Kakashi's pleased to see Sakura's sickness and cravings have taken a vacation, her sudden fixation on working out and being active 24/7 is exhausting—at least to him. And when she wants to go and fulfill herself with activity, something shocking takes place and gives them quite a scare.

xXx

It was five thirty in the am and Kakashi was comfortably stretched out on the queen sized bed Sakura had coerced him into buying, enjoying the first peaceful night he'd had in weeks due to Sakura's constant discomfort. At least, by now, the sickness had finally keeled over and she was able to get a full eight hours rest. The cravings weren't any better, however, but at least the ridiculous requests were taking a break for now—for how long Kakashi was unsure, but he would enjoy his tiny vacation while it lasted.

She was starting to show, just a tiny little bit more; there was a distinct pillow in the front of her abdomen that made her hips curvier and gave her sort of a tush. He had to admit, before getting pregnant, Sakura's ass was non-existent. But afterwards, she'd started to—how do you say— grow into herself more fully than before, and now he had one hot sexy mama who was curvaceous, bootilicious, and had great boobs.

He smiled, rolling over and smushing his face in the pillow. But then, a horrible, low-throaty sound came from somewhere in the distant and Kakashi prayed to the kami-samas out there that they would silence this noise. He would probably have to check the heater when it was officially morning, since that couldn't be good for the baby.

But when the noises progressed and took on a certain human quality, he rose from his bed to investigate. He bothered to at least pull on a loose T-shirt before venturing into the living room, wondering where Sakura was if she wasn't in bed snuggling with him this early.

He made it all the way to the bathroom and there she was, squatting delicately on the tips of her toes with her face contorted in pain. One thing raced through his mind—she's having a miscarriage! But as he stalked closer, a foul odour shot through his sensitive olfactory senses and had him stumbling back. He practically pinched his nose off with his thumb and finger and backed out of the room, hoping she hadn't seen him.

"Uhhh…. Kakashi…." She groaned, and he stayed where he was. "I don't feel so well…"

"Uh, well, what's wrong?"

"I'm…"

He tuned out the rest, pretending he didn't just hear his girlfriend admit to him that she was 'constipated.' "Oh, well, that's nice honey. I'm going back to bed now,"

He left the room and travelled the hallway at break-neck speed and curled up under the covers, falling asleep faster than a blink of an eye and trying to purge the image he had burnt in his head earlier.

When Kakashi woke for the second time that morning at eight thirty am, he had effectively pushed those abhorred memories in the back of his head, along with other unpleasant things (he swore someday it would all conglomerate and result in an aneurysm , and gave a satisfactory yawn. His muscles stretched and his bones cracked as he worked out the tenseness in his body, and smiled down happily when he noticed that it would be a lovely morning.

Sakura had yet to return to the bed—or so he thought; on closer inspection her side was relatively warm. Then where had she run to? He dressed quickly and searched for her, sensing her in the kitchen. It was a step up from where he'd found her earlier, and she was absolutely brimming with energy, suited up in track pants and a warm work-out sweater with her iPod in her ears.

"Sakura, it's sort of early for you. What're you doing?"

"Going jogging," she said, stretching side to side while balancing an apple in her left palm. "Wanna come?"

"Uh, no thanks. You see, I have to go to the market, meet this old lady, pay her off for spotting me a few bucks last week, and—"

"Oh, save it for when you need it," she smirked and headed out the door, pausing momentarily to confirm his decision before sprinting away.

"Ah, weird…" He settled for making a coffee and not thinking too much in her sudden 180 degree turn, hoping she wouldn't meet any trouble along the way.

Lately she'd been turning to exercise like it was crack, and although it didn't seem to hurt her, it sure was making him frustrated enough to tear his hair out. What happened to taking it easy during pregnancy? Not that he cared too much about her moseying around the house doing nothing, but she was hardly ever in the house. She was always at the gym or swimming or training, so when was he going to have a little 'them' time?

Yes, it sounded a bit selfish, but when you lived, breathed, and dreamed of working out, somewhere a problem was waiting to arise. He just hoped she wouldn't get hurt in result to all the heavy excursions.

_Somewhere in the streets of Konoha…_

"My my, Sakura-chan, I see that you're indulging in your Springtime of Youth by taking a brisk walk in the early morning. And I see that you're doing the baby good with keeping up with your rigorous exercises! I applaud you, Sakura-chan! Run with me!"

Jr. Beautiful Green Beast of Konoha begged to the running-in-place medic, and she shook her head to his dismay. "I can't go as hard as I used to, Lee. I've got to keep it to a moderate pace so I don't over-exert myself. I'm still in my first trimester."

"Oh, you're child will appreciate the effort you went through by pushing yourself to the limits! C'mon, let's race around the outside of Konoha 100 times for ol' times sake!"

Sakura gave a light laugh but waved him off. "Lee, that's Kakashi and Gai-san's thing. And besides, we've done that before, remember? And you beat me, so you already win. I have to go now…"

"No woman in such a fragile stage of pregnancy should be running alone in the morning! I shall accompany you, Sakura-chan!"

Sakura laughed shakily as she began her trek through the outskirts of Konoha where they held a decent trail and tried to subtly ignore the green-spandex wearing companion she had picked up. Really, all she wanted from the market was a bottle of water—this was a bit much. But, nonetheless, he made for good conversation, at least when everything he said didn't include "Springtime of Youth," "In the Middle of Your Blossoming," and "Wonderful Expecting Mother Who Will Produce Mega-Ultra Super-powered children!"

They ran for a full half an hour before pain struck Sakura below the belt and she had to take a break, finding a nearby broken bench to catch her breath. Lee was silent while she coped with her discomfort, noting that suddenly Sakura seemed to go deathly pale.

"W-what is it?"

She mutely raised her hand; it was covered in blood.

* * *

The next minute Kakashi knew, he was called from the hospital to report that his girlfriend was there and she was experiencing some light bleeding. _That_ wasn't even the scary part. The nurse had also, warily, mentioned her having company, and when he demanded who, he threw down the morning paper and dashed to the hospital as quickly as he could.

He used his nose, not wanting to wait for a nurse to walk slowly and lead him to her room, and found her quite quickly. She looked slightly peaked and a bit on the pale side, but he was relieved to see that Lee was behaving himself at least and not torturing her by chatting her to death.

"Sakura, what happened? Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm just waiting for Shizune. I started bleeding a bit,"

Kakashi scrunched his nose. "Bleeding? Bleeding where? Did you cut yourself?"

Sakura chomped on her bottom lip and averted her eyes.

"Sakura—tell me what happened," said Shizune as she pulled up with her clipboard, and the girl relayed the scenario to her while gradually turning paler and paler.

"Ah, well, if the men would gladly leave the room I'd like to have a quick peak."

Kakashi agonized for the whole minute he was standing outside of those foreboding doors, and when Shizune gave him the call to come in, he wasted no time in asking for a diagnosis.

"Just light spotting," said Shizune, and Sakura looked a ton better which relieved him more than the good news.

"What's that?"

"It's common for women to bleed a little during pregnancy. Her uterus is expanding as the baby grows so the lining rips a little to compensate for the extra room. It may occur again, but to truly know if it's a miscarriage next time, there'll be heavy blood flow and it will feel extremely painful." Kakashi felt his heart leave his throat and he hugged Sakura close to him, happy that nothing was wrong with her or the baby.

When they returned home, happy and relieved that the scare had been nothing, Sakura took off to the bathroom faster than a jet. Without asking, Kakashi merely returned to his duties prior to the incident and perused through the paper, smiling to himself when he knew that everything would be all right.

Or so he thought.

"_Kakashi_."

"Yes?"

Silence, then: "I'd really like some watermelons..."

* * *

A/N: I know most of you may not quite understand the meaning of this fic (and really, it's mostly just for my entertainment, and whoever else enjoys Kakashi's suffering), but I'm willing and trying to be flexible. This fact includes me writing a story about one of the pairings '_I' _think are unrealistic, but hey, I'm experimenting and having a few laughs along the way. To those who enjoy this story, I very much thank you. I am truly pleased at the reception this fic has given me so far. Please continue reading, dedicated fellow Ff readers!


	6. Backaches, Kicks and Heartburn

The 40 Week Challenge.

Week 17—19; Backaches, Kicks, and Heartburn.

The goal; Find a way for Sakura to eat without heartburn and without having her back feel like it's being sat on by an elephant. Not to mention her child's learning karate in the womb.

xXx

"Kaka… can you make me something to eat?" pouted the pink-haired kunoichi who was laying on the couch with her feet propped and about ten pillows behind her head and back. "I'm hungry,"

"You were hungry two hours ago," Kakashi sighed, moving to the fridge to pull out some rice and last night's leftover Salisbury steak. "You're eating a lot for a girl your size, you know."

"Well, I'm eating for two now, and this little one's a porker."

"So it seems,"

Sakura stuck her tongue out at him and curled up on the sofa, encasing herself in a cocoon. Her mind was calm with the constant sounds of shuffling in the kitchen due to Kakashi's cooking, and soon sweet scents filled the apartment that had her mouth watering.

"Here," Kakashi placed the delicious looking bowl of food on the stand next to the couch. Sakura gazed at it longingly, and had an idea that was worth trying.

"Kaka… can you feed it to me?"

The blank stare that she received told her 'no.'

Sighing, she sat up from her warm blankets and brought the plate to her lap, feasting upon the appetizing food and savouring the juicy steak. "This is your best dish yet, Kakashi," she said around bites, cramming the steak into her mouth and moaning.

Kakashi pretended not to be offended when in fact he had made her a dish of chicken stir fry from scratch, and he thought _that_ had been his best dish. Apparently, heated rice and steak was better. He sighed in defeat.

"Don't be so mopey " she chided as she shovelled another bite into her mouth. "I gave you a compliment. Jeesh, learn to take one, will ya?"

Festering frustration gripped him, but he had to remain calm, because Sakura was his ever-loving girlfriend, and even though she was acting as super-crazed-mega-weirdo-girlfriend, he still loved her. He'd do anything for her. So he couldn't wait until her pregnancy was through and his normal, sweet, fun-loving Sakura returned.

Not like she wasn't all of those things, but pregnancy blanketed most of those aspects due to soaring hormones she could only moderately control with mountains of chocolate kisses and soap operas. Underneath her sweetness was there, her kindness, the way she used to nuzzle into him when they slept instead of now tossing and turning each night, trying to find a better spot to sleep on. He imagined it was an arduous task when her stomach was ballooned considerably.

Sakura leaned over a bit more to scoop up the remnants of the fried rice, wincing as she returned to an upright position, her hands trying to assuage the sudden aches radiating from her lumbar. "Ooh, not again." She groaned, kneading the muscles with a pinch of chakra acting as a coolant. Soon the muscles relaxed themselves, though she was now pestered by heartburn. "And damn this heartburn!" she cursed.

Kakashi only stared in mild fascination. So many complications were compiling themselves on this poor kunoichi—he'd only ever heard of women developing a meagre amount of symptoms from pregnancy, rarely ever the whole package. As of late the heartburn and the back aches were becoming increasingly taxing on her, so Kakashi made sure to prepare foods less likely to trigger her heartburn, and was diligent in offering massages in the evening before she slept.

He knew, deep down inside, Sakura was grateful for his assistance. Getting her to generally mean it was difficult, though. Someday he would be rewarded for his efforts, and he only hoped her luscious jugs were there to stay for that reward.

Shirking the naughty thoughts that had crept into his mind, he manoeuvred around Sakura's body and straddled her from behind, massaging her back further and enjoying the way she arched into his touch and let her silky pink hair fall onto his shoulders.

"Oh!" gasped Sakura, hands flying to cover her tummy. "He's kicking!"

The Copy nin placed his hands on her stomach, feeling the kicks his child was delivering. They were strong and powerful, causing her a smidgen of pain, but he couldn't be even more thankful that he would be as strong, if not stronger, than her.

"It's like he's taking classes from you," Kakashi smirked, absently rubbing soothing circles over the spots where she was getting kicked. "He'll be a pro in taijutsu class for sure."

"Yeah, he'll definitely be—"

She froze in his arms. "What?" he implored, shocked to see her expression not of pain, but of discouragement. "What is it?"

"Taijutsu, huh?" she echoed, shuddering.

"Yeah?"

She gave him a blank look. "Which means he'll no doubt get mentored from a certain—or should a say, a _few_—certain instructors."

Realization hit him like a ton of bricks and his hands fell away quickly. He stared in abhorrence at her tummy. "No!" he scolded her stomach, pointing an accusatory finger at it. "Don't be good at taijutsu! I will not have you learning the Springtime of Youth from Gai! You will _not_ be the Beautiful Green Beast of Konoha #3! You will be the grandson of the White Fang!"

Sakura quietly admonished her upset boyfriend, noting that he appeared to be on the verge of tears. "He just _can't_ be taught by them," Kakashi almost sobbed, shaking his head in defeat. "He just _can't_."

"She," amended Sakura gently. Her verdant gaze rested on her tummy as well. "And you will _not_ be wooed by their charms. You will not!" Thoughts of Tsunade's personality rubbing off on her child caused a slight panic. "And you will certainly _not_ be a drunken medic Hokage!" Sakura would have to ensure her child would not see the light of day if she were to ever protect her from the horrors of the world.

The two sat in morose silence as they fretted over the future of their child.


	7. Drunken Fathers and Cold Feet

The 40 Week Challenge

Week 20—30; Drunken Fathers and Cold Feet.

The goal; to help Kakashi keep sane for the impending due date of his child. Asuma knows _just_ the thing.

xXx

"When Kurenai gave me that scare this time about six months ago I was about ready to run to the hills," confessed Asuma as he held a long drag from his cigarette while nursing a beer in his other hand. "We had a couple of those false-alarms."

Kakashi nodded his head in silent understanding. Last week Sakura had woken him up due to unbearable pain in her abdomen, and, without knowing what was going on, Kakashi had rushed them to the hospital. Sakura believed that her child was going to be born then and there, and she wouldn't stop fretting the whole trip about having a premature baby who could be at risk of dying.

Once in the hospital and directed to a room immediately, multiple tests and physical checks concluded that it was only a false-alarm, that the uterus was contracting in response to the growing child, and sometimes it could feel like it was 'time.'

Sakura had wept in joy knowing that her child was still healthy and not on the verge of being premature; Kakashi thought that he'd had multiple heart attacks compacted into one for all of his worrying. They kept her in over night, continuing to monitor her as if there _was_ something wrong, which only enhanced his concern more and more. The only instant Kakashi felt any sort of relief was when he finally got to take her home, where he curled around her and nuzzled her neck and didn't let her go for hours.

The pink haired kunoichi had easily gotten over the scare, but a week later the Copy nin still found it plaguing his thoughts. Would it happen again? Would next time be for real? What would he actually do when the 'time' came? So he sought out company tonight, and from none other than his long time friend from when they were genin, Sarutobi Asuma. If any shinobi husband/father would understand the obstacles Kakashi was facing, it would be him.

Asuma took a swig of beer. "Has she stopped craving, at least?"

"_No,_" Kakashi groaned, taking a long chug from the mug. "It feels like she got shucked with all the symptoms of pregnancy."

"Mhmm, I know it feels that way," consoled the jounin. "But it's all in your head."

Kakashi felt like _hitting_ his head. Against a pole. Repeatedly.

"No, it's not." He sighed wistfully. "And that's the problem; she's got everything. The cravings, the aches, the heartburn, the mood-swings, the—well, she _does_ have everything, okay?"

The son of the former Hokage nodded his head sagely. "Yes, yes, that all sounds familiar." He snubbed the end of his cigarrette on his boot. "But it'll all be over soon. She has like, what, two weeks left tops?"

"Something like that," Kakashi said.

"Well then you're in the home-stretch, my friend!" Asuma roughly patted his comrade on the back, causing him to cough on the beer that went up his nose. "That'll be the end of the hormone-crazed Sakura! And just think, after all of that torture, comes an oasis!"

"An... oasis?" queried the silver-haired jounin skeptically, wondering where his friend was going with this. He was sort of starting to sound like Gai, which unnerved him more than it should have.

"Yes, an oasis!" The jounin offered Kakashi a mega-watt grin. "You'll have a beautiful girlfriend and a beautiful child that you get to take care of and love."

That sounded appeasing to Kakashi. "Yes, that does sound good," he commented, ruminating on the thought of coming home at the end of the day to two beautiful smiling loves of his, eagerly awaiting his return. Sakura would peck him on the cheek and his little prodigy son would want him to play ninja, then supper would be made, and he would tell his son all about his latest mission and be admired and respected as a noble and powerful father.

Ah, yes, that sounded appeasing indeed.

"Of course it does!" boasted Asuma, lighting another cigarette. "The two of you will take turns waking at night to tend to the little fellow—or little gal, whichever it may be—, and you'll be changing diapers, making formula, changing diapers, making meals, working—it'll all a bonding experience to you and Sakura! That little fart will have the best parents in Konoha."

A muscle twitched in Kakashi's eye. Did... did he just say that it will be _fun_ to be woken up in the late of night to change _diapers?_ Maybe Kakashi's sensitive hearing wasn't all that it was. Maybe Asuma was pulling his leg. Taking care of a child wouldn't be like _that_, would it?

Sakura would take care of things; isn't that what mothers were instinctively known to do? Though he could never remember a moment wherein his pink haired lover was exactly matronly toward _anything_. Sure she could put up with kids, but that was because they weren't hers, and she didn't have to stay and like them. Come to think of it, she had transferred out of paediatrics quickly after she'd tried it for a week. What if she turned out to be a horrible mother? What if he were a horrible father?

Kakashi ordered another beer and polished it off quickly, determined to get drunk. He needed to relax and take his mind off of things. The baby would be just fine, because _they_ would be just fine. They would be partners and love their child. Asuma and Kurenai seemed to be doing it right.

"Kakashi," intoned Asuma, noting that his friend was looking quite pale and a little shaken. "You'll be a fine father, so don't get cold feet now. Sakura needs you."

_And I'll need her_, the Copy nin thought as he downed another beer. His mind was feeling fuzzy and his stomach warm. Pretty soon he'd be blissfully inebriated.

"When's the baby shower?"

"Tomorrow."

"Are you going to be there?"

Kakashi gave him an incredulous look. "I thought it was an all girl thing. I don't want my testicles removed to be apart of it."

Asuma chuckled raucously, disturbing some of the people around them. "The father is _allowed_ to be there. It's up to the women if they want you beside her or not, because after all, it is _her_ baby shower."

"Yes, I suppose you're right." Mumbled Kakashi into his drink.

A beat of silence, then: "So, when you gonna propose?"

Beer sprayed everywhere, soaking the bartender who'd just been about to ask if they wanted refills. Kakashi apologized hastily and fixed his friend with a glare. "I'm not,"

Asuma smiled amicably, finding it amusing he'd finally hit a nerve in the Hatake. "But why not? Your child will be born a bastard. I proposed to Kurenai."

"Yeah, well that's _you_," Kakashi grumbled. "I don't care if he's born a bastard or not—it's _why_ he's born that's important, not the how."

"Ah, truer words were never said," Asuma drinked to that. "Listen, I was just teasing. If you don't want to marry Sakura because of a child than you don't have to."

"Thank you."

"_But_..."

"But what?"

"You'll know she'll expect a ring."

"She expects no such thing,"

"Oh really?"

"Yes." A pause. "No."

"Ha! I knew it."

"Shut up and drink your beer."

"Gladly." They both drank, trying not to laugh.


	8. Proposals and Personal Massagers?

The 40 Week Challenge

Week 31; Proposals and... _Personal Massagers?_

The goal; for Sakura to fend off her insane friends whilst sifting through appropriate baby shower gifts.

xXx

"Oi, Sakura-chan! This will cheer you right up!" Ino shoved a particularly large box decorated with a plethora of baby ducklings, bunnies, and kittens into the medic-nin's hands, her exuberant smile nearly obliterating Sakura's massive frown.

"Thanks, Ino," mumbled Sakura, trying to become more enthusiastic for her friends. Really, it wasn't their fault that Kakashi was beginning to act really strange around her now that her due date was looming over the next few weeks. First, she'd summed it up to nerves, and after his brief outing with Asuma, he came back acting differently.

Tearing into the ridiculous paper, Sakura beamed to find that her fellow kunoichi had bought her a cradle set. "Oh, thanks, Ino." Sakura sniffed, embracing her friend tightly.

"No, problem, Forehead. Now get that frown off your face!" chided the Yamanaka girl, shoving one of Hinata's gifts into her arms.

Sakura accepted the gift humbly, trying to banish her thoughts from lingering on the possibility that the Copy Nin could, very well, be considering opting out of parenthood. Really, it wasn't because he didn't love her, but he was raised an only kid and had a tendency to avoid children. He was bred and groomed to be a top notch shinobi by the time he was seven, having no desires to become a parent that would be responsible for another life, when his own was in jeopardy every mission he embarked on.

The medic-nin had come to terms with this possibility already, because if she wasn't going to have a kid, then when would she? Surely not when the day that particular mission would come along and she'd no longer be around. At least she'd leave something of her legacy, even if she wouldn't be around long enough to take care of him/her. Kurenai had opted to take the life of a civlian once her child had been born, but that was the genjutsu master's path, not Sakura's.

With only several days away until their little boy/girl was born, Kakashi needed to settle his issues soon.

Sakura, in a flurry, ripped through more tape and paper to unravel a neat set of unisex infant clothes. Humoursly, the Hyuuga girl had hired a special seamstress to design the clothes to match the shinobi garments that Kakashi wore, as well as Sakura's trademark white medical skirt and pink halter. "They're so cute!" said the medic-nin quite girlishly, embracing Hinata with a mighty hug.

"I thought you might like them," replied the winded Hyuuga, a shy smile on her face.

TenTen entered the mass of women and presented her gift as well. "It's specially made!" she hinted coyly.

Sakura unwrapped the gift and produced a small kunai attached to a metal necklace. "It's for when she or he gets older," replied the weapons master. "Then she or he can find some inspiration to come see me for some weapons training!"

"I'd send her to no one else," said Sakura happily.

Kurenai had given her a fresh set of bottles and a bottle warmer; Temari, who had ventured all the way down to the Fire country for her baby shower (though none of the girls believed it, thinking it was out of business with a certain shadow-specialist), had given her a special concoction based upon ninjutsu and a special desert plant that was used to prevent sunburn for infants that was popular in the Wind country; Hana, Hinata's younger sister, had given her a special offering of a puppy when her bitch gave birth, so the infant could have a companion; and Tsunade had given her the option of using her as a babysitter for a short period of time when the kunoichi returned to full-time medical duty. In Sakura's mind, Tsunade's offer would no doubt prove hysterical.

As the presents were opened and piled up one by one, the questions began to accumulate at an alarming rate.

"Has Kakashi proposed to you yet?"

"Will he want a boy or a girl?"

"Where do you guys want to go on your honeymoon?"

"When's the wedding?"

"Have you guys done it after you got pregnant?"

The latter had been Ino's question, but all of the others seemed much more important to answer than the last.

"No, he hasn't proposed yet," sighed the medic-nin unwittingly, cursing herself for revealing her emotions toward the touchy subject. It wasn't as if she _wanted_ to marry the man - a shinobi didn't live long, and some did decide to tie the knot, she couldn't really see the point. Just being with one person for so long while surviving seemed like enough, adding a baby into the mix was more of a blessing than what it appeared to be.

Ino's face became scary fierce. "Well, that's just not right! He can't expect to get you knocked up and not marry you! You're not some sort of floosy."

"Ino, cut it out." Griped Tenten. "If he doesn't propose, he doesn't; they're already having a child, that'll be expensive enough as it is."

"Yes," affirmed Kurenai. "They'll be full time parents, they won't have time to get married in between the child."

"No, I don't think so." Rebutted Hana. "Sakura-chan is awesome! She can do everything."

"Thanks, Hana," said Sakura hesitantly, continuing to drown out the bickering which quickly escalated to using fists. Really, women could be so violent sometimes.

"Well, if that doesn't work out, open this!" Ino shoved another unassuming box into the pink-haired kunoichi's hands, absolutely glowing with anticipation.

Sakura opened it slowly. She revealed an object about six inches in length, phallic shapes, with an option for vibration. "Ino!" she chucked the offending object away. "What the _hell_!?"

The Yamanaka girl barely batted an eye. "It's a vibrator. You know, _a personal massager_, in case he bucks out of this relationship and you need a little mommy time."

"Ino!" chastised Hinata, clamping a hand on Hana's ears. "There are some of us not quite old enough to hear this stuff!" her face was absolutely inflamed in embarrassment.

"That's just gross," shuddered TenTen.

"That seems like something she'd do though," sighed Tsunade.

Temari finally quieted them down once bringing up the fact pizza was on its way. Sakura sighed once peace finally found its way to her apartment. All of this stress couldn't be good for the baby. As if hearing her internal thoughts, the younger Hyuuga girl placed a hand on her rotund belly, feeling the vicious kicks the baby was doling out in its frustrated. She activated her blood line limit and observed as the almost fully mature baby squirmed and moved.

"Why does it move so much?" questioned the young girl.

Hinata answered for Sakura, who was observing in quiet fascination as Hana watched straight through her uterus. She wished she had that ability. "It's getting used to moving outside the womb, Hana. It's exercising."

"Don't tell me the sex," interjected Sakura before Hana could reply. "I know you can see him or her, but I don't want to know yet." She winked.

"Got it," said the younger Hyuuga, deactivating her Byakugan.

"Say, Forehead," Ino came to sit beside her best friend, her eyes alight with mischief. This couldn't be good. "Would you be angry if I hired a certain something for your shower to... liven things up?"

"Ino," warned Sakura, her chakra flaring but sputtering due to the baby's own chakra interfering with her own. "Man, I hate it when that happens."

Kurenai laughed knowingly. "Get used to it. It took a long time for my chakra to finally stop its erratic movements after I gave birth."

"I have superb chakra control," Sakura said proudly. "It should be back in no time."

"We'll give you medication to help with the fluctuations," assured Tsunade.

"Thanks, shishou. And, Ino, don't think I've forgotten your little 'present.' Please tell me you didn't hire a stripper..."

"I didn't hire a stripper."

"Don't just say that because I told you not to."

"Then I _should_ say it?"

"No!"

"Okay, then I won't."

Sakura growled, and the doorbell chose that moment to chime. Ino sent a conspiratorial wink toward her pink-haired friend and leapt to answer it.

"Pizza's here!" She shouted to the house, but was surprised to hear on the other end, "Pizza? I was supposed to bring pizza?"

The Yamanaka girl, puzzled, opened the door a crack. Kakashi stood on the other end, dressed in a fine suit, holding flowers and something in his other hand. His lone slate grey eye met Ino's cerulean, and both exchanged a look of knowing. "I really wasn't supposed to bring pizza, was I?" the Copy Nin asked, worried.

"No, you idiot, it was a cover!" she hissed back, quietly.

"Ino, is it the pizza guy?"

"Yeah! He's just so cute looking!"

The rest of the girls were oblivious to the little scheme Ino and Kakashi had created, so none were the wiser, especially their favourite pink-haired kunoichi. "She's on the couch, don't screw this up, Hatake!"

"The entertain-er, pizza is here!"

All heads shot toward the door in expectation of either a male stripper or the pizza man, none holding their breath for either option. As the door opened and the jounin slipped through, all jaws simultaneously became slack and eyes rounded. Sakura took a second longer to glance up, and became immobilized while fondling one of the teddy bears she had received, taking in the site of Kakashi dressed impeccably while holding a bouquet of roses.

"K-Kakashi!" said Sakura, astonished as well as a little wary. "You're not... not going to start stripping are you?" she barked out a nervous laugh. To her surprise, none of the other kunoichi looked too upset at this prospect, which lead her to believe no one knew why he was here. "Are you?" she repeated.

"No," he said simply, extending the bouquet out for her to hold between shaky fingers. "Although I'm sure if Ino had more persuasion skills I'd be here for that instead of something else." Ino's laugh came from somewhere behind him, but Sakura couldn't remove her eyes to find out where.

"Then, why are you here?" she bit her lip nervously, almost ruining the fine cluster of flowers in her fingers.

Sounds of absolute shock echoed within her apartment as he knelt to one knee, his one hidden hand revealing itself which held a tiny box perched within his palm. "I'm here for this." He opened the lid and revealed a golden ring embellished with pink and white diamonds. "Sakura," he began, slowly, fearing her reaction but also encouraged by it, "will you marry me?"

Sakura promptly fainted.

"Way to go, Hatake!" chided Ino, fanning her friend.

The Copy Nin panicked. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked emphatically. "That's how they did it in the films, and they _never_ faint!"

Ino gave him a knowing look. "No, you did it right."

Sakura gained enough consciousness to say yes, and then was transported gently to bed, where Kakashi shooed everyone out of the apartment and began to clean up. A half an hour into cleaning, the doorbell rang once more. Suspicious, the Copy Nin moved to the peep-hole and discovered an unidentifiable male outside.

Kakashi opened the door to discover a very _under dressed_ unidentifiable male outside of his apartment, holding a pizza in such a way that could be considered lascivious. "Pizza guy," he said in his rehearsed voice, eyes peering into the empty apartment. "Um, this the baby shower house, right?"

"Yep," Kakashi said, taking the pizza from his arms and shutting the door faster than the man could speak.

* * *

A/N: I know this has been a while since updated, but I've been busy with fixing my query letter and manuscript while editing other's novels as well, so I haven't had a lot of time. Hope you like, please comment!


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